Sunday, December 28, 2008
A very Florida Christmas, thanks mom and dad
Actually, scroll down and view these from the bottom up! Darn blogger!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Chef Bella boo
Bella made cookies for Santa and reindeer snacks as well.
You are about to gain about 500 pounds, just looking at the stuff.
She was an excellent chef once again and we are teaching her about the oven and how you have to wear Ove-gloves. hahaha
She sat and unrolled the Rolos for a good 30 minutes, she did not deviate from her task. She was such an excellent helper. She used the microwave and pressed in all the m&ms too.
Last week, she also helped me make the stuffing for the turkey and helped make the turkey as well.
Na naa nee boo boo mom, I am teaching my kid to cook! I bet you thought you'd never see the day! haaaa haaaa
Friday, December 19, 2008
Cheeeeesequake state park
Bella and I made the innards of the xmas cheesecake. Daddy and Bella made the crust. Bella was an excellent chef. Maybe she'll be one some day. She even cracked the eggs with me!!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Addictions
A. My novel. I have not been writing anything on my blog because most of my creativity has been absorbed by my novel. I have to write 50,000 words by 11/30. I am at 43,500. I have been at 43,500 for about 3 days. I need to wrap that puppy up. Nothing is coming to me. I am pissed at my characters for not revealing their ending to me yet. Those Bastages. I think they are doing this to me just cause they can. They gave me such an easy time thus far, they had to show me the hard stuff now. Thanks guys. (Who am I kidding, I am having FUN!)
B. Twilight.
What can I even say, the premier is in less than 12 hours. Two friends and I are going to go on THIS Sunday during the afternoon hoping that the impending Bears game and moms with kids taking naps will prove to help bring in a less crowded theater. Cross your fingers for us.
My love to Rob Pattinson, who looks like a deer in headlights. I hope your life doesn't suffer too much from all this frenzy. I saw an interview with him while he was in Chicago and all he wanted to do was get a deep dish pizza, but all he did was stare out a window. He can't go anywhere. How crazy. Though I don't feel TOO bad for him. He's freaking famous.
C. Facebook Man. I love that it keeps me in touch with my friends near and far, and family near and far. I love that thing. I am on there constantly.
Well, I gotta go figure out this mock conclusion, come on dream peeps, a little help?!!
B. Twilight.
What can I even say, the premier is in less than 12 hours. Two friends and I are going to go on THIS Sunday during the afternoon hoping that the impending Bears game and moms with kids taking naps will prove to help bring in a less crowded theater. Cross your fingers for us.
My love to Rob Pattinson, who looks like a deer in headlights. I hope your life doesn't suffer too much from all this frenzy. I saw an interview with him while he was in Chicago and all he wanted to do was get a deep dish pizza, but all he did was stare out a window. He can't go anywhere. How crazy. Though I don't feel TOO bad for him. He's freaking famous.
C. Facebook Man. I love that it keeps me in touch with my friends near and far, and family near and far. I love that thing. I am on there constantly.
Well, I gotta go figure out this mock conclusion, come on dream peeps, a little help?!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Shirley Temple and my impending novel
Well, I really did it this time. I cut my child's hair, and now she looks like Shirley Temple. And I can't cut curly hair worth crap. This is real honest to goodness truth. So Bella may be paying a visit to Kid's Snips or whatever this weekend to clean up mom's dingbat job...wow.She LIKES it though, she is so proud of her haircut. I feel horrible. I am afraid to touch it up, thinking that I'll start cutting this and that and then all of a sudden she'll be freaking BALD. So I must resist the urge to fix this. Lord help me.
On to better news. I think. I have officially signed on to write a 50,000 word, yes, fifty THOUSAND word novel by the end of November. It is part of National Novel Writing Month. I have a friend at work who sent me the idea and has been tormenting me on the whys of why I should participate. Then some friends from across the state and country have been giving me the DO it notices on Facebook. So I decided to do it. It will take ALOT of time, but I really want to do it and if I do, it is only for me, but I will feel like I accomplished something big.
I have already started writing a story I got from a dream, but I am not going to use that. I am going to start fresh with an idea I pondered about a week ago when workfriend decided to start telling me about nanowrimo.org.
So I have AN idea. And I think it will work. I am nervous that I will not make the 200 pages it will take to get the 50K words, but my friend out in Connecticut assures me this is for quantity NOT quality; which workfriend also tried explaining to me in other words. So I feel a little better since workfriend has actually won writing contests and almost made a movie (FOR REAL) from one of his screenplays. And CT friend is an avid writer and critic. So with these two in my corner I feel a little better.
Hubby says it is ALL me since he has too much on his plate with school to think about participating. And so I dragged another work BFF in this and she is going to do it too. I have threatened, or vowed to bring my laptop with me everyday to work so I can take lunch and write over lunch, and then I'll write during Bella's shows, and on the weekends. I'll probably have to force myself to stay up late friday nights too so I can finish.
The rules are to not start till 12:01 am on November 1st and then submit by November 30th. So please wish me luck, and if you don't hear from me till December, you know why.
PS, please say a prayer for Bella's hair. Thanks.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Oh the friends we have
So I joined facebook and I find it pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty darn easy to upload photos there. Soooo, I'll still try to post some here but the majority will be over there.
Bella and I went trick or treating this weekend with bella's friend Allyson. They had a great time despite the cold weather, Bella was all warm in her Skunk costume. We did buy her a butterfly stuff, but with the weather, I think she may end up Skunking it out. She tells people she's a STUNK! too cute. She had her first M&Ms. And she LOVED them, now I have to HIDE the candy. All she wants is candy. She went from Zero to sixty in 2.5 seconds there.
Then we went to pumpkin fest. Bella has a parade friend. My friend Kris' daughter Kayleigh goes with us to 99.9% of all the parades we see. So when we say we are going to a parade Isabella, Bella will say, with Kayleigh?? Parade = Kayleigh to my kiddo.
So we went to Kayleigh's grandma's (who I lovingly call my surrogate mom or Bella's surrogate Grandma) and had lots to eat and then we all went to the parade where we even got to meet up with some old friends from both High School and college.
Isabella became more outgoing this weekend too, she went up to several people she did not know and hugged them. And most miraculously, she even let my friend Mike not only roughhouse with her but HOLD her and toss her about! And she went back for more. It was a miracle and it's not even Christmas.
Bella has also taken to not taking naps during the day anymore... it is pretty crazy and I am not liking it. Why? because she then freaking falls asleep on the way home and then is passed out cold for at least 2 hours. I have tried bouncing her to wake her, playing with her hands, sitting her up--you name it, I have tried it. All I have not done is doused her with H2O. So all this turns into her not going to bed at any kind of a decent hour. UGH!
Just got word Grandma G is coming for a visit in 2 weeks, we are excited!! yay!
Experiment
Those of you not on facebook, please click this link and let me know if you can see the photos....
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=1459733314&k=X416Z2USPYYM5DGERA43U3
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=1459733314&k=X416Z2USPYYM5DGERA43U3
Monday, October 20, 2008
One for Aunt Jenn
Taaa Daaaa... Bella was so proud of this Carolina outfit. :)I think she looks about ready to join Riverdance.
I about died when...
Scott and I were at Cheesecake factory this weekend and we were drawing with one of Isabella's little magnadoodles, when I asked her to spell her name, and she said "B-E-L-L-A". On the first try!
I shed a small tear. She is only 2 and a half!!
I shed a small tear. She is only 2 and a half!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Pumpkin patch #2
Bella and mommy went to Didiers pumpkin patch yesterday while daddy was at work. It was really fun. Bella did ALOT of poses. I asked her what her favorite thing was and she said washing the pumpkin....soooo
She also liked posing as a "ghostie". That is my girl!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Way more than a geek
So, I am more than a geek about this movie I posted below. It is getting quite sad. I am totally an embarrassment to myself. I have NEVER been this geeked out on a movie or book before. i really don't know what to do. I have never been this big of a nerd. It is really quite amazing for me. I guess my inner geekity will never cease to amaze me. Maybe this is my equivalent of starwars geekdom? Friends, please accept me anyway.
It has become ritual now that every night during the week when Bella becomes engrossed with her Blue’s clues, or Einsteins, or Yo Gabba Gabba, I get on the laptop (oh so convenient—sorry this is my first laptop ever) log in Facebook and then read Stephenie Myers’ site, and IMDb and Youtube then any other sites galore related to the damned movie below.
I hate you Stephenie Myers for turning me into a
GEEK.
Queen of the GEEKS.
Supreme GEEKOLAGEEK.
I think what is most got me doing this nightly tribute is not the Twilight books themselves, and not hot Robert Pattinson, who I did NOT think was good looking at all at first but now has grown on me—(don’t worry Christian B., you are still 1-5… R-pat is now just #6 plus he is pretty young, so I almost feel ashamed—but if Scott could like Lindsay Lohan at one time, I don’t feel THAT bad)…so, the thing that is fun for me is reading the HILARIOUS posts of commentary by fans and haters of the books/movie… I could read thousands of these threads and go back for more. I love the people who can’t spell or who write in gangster rap form, or who I swear to god are 12 or who are the German and French contingent of this fandom that get on to post…its too funny it’s world over.
All I can say is that it is a good distraction from watching the Blue’s Clues about School for the millionth time.
But it is a truly sad state of affairs that people get away with writing this way online… broken words, not to mention sentences commenting on things… though I am strangely compelled to read it. It is so freaking humorous. I seriously laugh out loud at a lot of it. Especially when the illiterate get into fights with other illiterati (yes making up my own words does not count, I have a license) about topics too. They say some pretty nasty stuff about each other and it can get like reading a book just in the threads. SOO entertaining. I repeatedly think—don’t these people have lives? Then I think, damn look at what I am doing…am I really any better? Or can I just type a smidge better? I think one of the more nerdy things about reading all these posts is the new vocab/lingo I pick up. Like OME….instead of OMG.
OME…OME!!!!
E paying homage to the lead hot vamp Edward….too funny… yeah, I am just about the only one who thinks it’s cute. S-A-D. Someone poke a fork through me, I am done.
And how sad is it that I lent my book out and am counting the days till I get it back…?
How sad is it that I can not wait till 11/21?
How sad is it that I can not wait for my designer friend to make our Team Edward shirts? Yes, my geekification has infiltrated other people. MY AGE. And we are planning to document it in shirt form.
How sad is it that after the movie I will be in high anticipation until the dvd comes out? How many months later?? Birthday present Scott?? He might need to buy two as I am sure I will wear out the first dvd.
How sad it is that after the dvd, I will be waiting for the next movie?
How do I know there will be a next movie? You should see the legions of fans this Stephenie Myer has ALONE. We are talking a Teenage ARMY. An all-girl army. And then multiply that by their sucker boyfriends who will be dragged to see this… well, right there alone you have a hit. Not to even mention the factors from anther site I found called, oh yes, TwilightMOMs.com!!!! No, I didn’t sign up. I drew the line there, proving my geekdom does have its boundaries. Although those boundaries are located in a galaxy FAR FAR FAR away.
It has become ritual now that every night during the week when Bella becomes engrossed with her Blue’s clues, or Einsteins, or Yo Gabba Gabba, I get on the laptop (oh so convenient—sorry this is my first laptop ever) log in Facebook and then read Stephenie Myers’ site, and IMDb and Youtube then any other sites galore related to the damned movie below.
I hate you Stephenie Myers for turning me into a
GEEK.
Queen of the GEEKS.
Supreme GEEKOLAGEEK.
I think what is most got me doing this nightly tribute is not the Twilight books themselves, and not hot Robert Pattinson, who I did NOT think was good looking at all at first but now has grown on me—(don’t worry Christian B., you are still 1-5… R-pat is now just #6 plus he is pretty young, so I almost feel ashamed—but if Scott could like Lindsay Lohan at one time, I don’t feel THAT bad)…so, the thing that is fun for me is reading the HILARIOUS posts of commentary by fans and haters of the books/movie… I could read thousands of these threads and go back for more. I love the people who can’t spell or who write in gangster rap form, or who I swear to god are 12 or who are the German and French contingent of this fandom that get on to post…its too funny it’s world over.
All I can say is that it is a good distraction from watching the Blue’s Clues about School for the millionth time.
But it is a truly sad state of affairs that people get away with writing this way online… broken words, not to mention sentences commenting on things… though I am strangely compelled to read it. It is so freaking humorous. I seriously laugh out loud at a lot of it. Especially when the illiterate get into fights with other illiterati (yes making up my own words does not count, I have a license) about topics too. They say some pretty nasty stuff about each other and it can get like reading a book just in the threads. SOO entertaining. I repeatedly think—don’t these people have lives? Then I think, damn look at what I am doing…am I really any better? Or can I just type a smidge better? I think one of the more nerdy things about reading all these posts is the new vocab/lingo I pick up. Like OME….instead of OMG.
OME…OME!!!!
E paying homage to the lead hot vamp Edward….too funny… yeah, I am just about the only one who thinks it’s cute. S-A-D. Someone poke a fork through me, I am done.
And how sad is it that I lent my book out and am counting the days till I get it back…?
How sad is it that I can not wait till 11/21?
How sad is it that I can not wait for my designer friend to make our Team Edward shirts? Yes, my geekification has infiltrated other people. MY AGE. And we are planning to document it in shirt form.
How sad is it that after the movie I will be in high anticipation until the dvd comes out? How many months later?? Birthday present Scott?? He might need to buy two as I am sure I will wear out the first dvd.
How sad it is that after the dvd, I will be waiting for the next movie?
How do I know there will be a next movie? You should see the legions of fans this Stephenie Myer has ALONE. We are talking a Teenage ARMY. An all-girl army. And then multiply that by their sucker boyfriends who will be dragged to see this… well, right there alone you have a hit. Not to even mention the factors from anther site I found called, oh yes, TwilightMOMs.com!!!! No, I didn’t sign up. I drew the line there, proving my geekdom does have its boundaries. Although those boundaries are located in a galaxy FAR FAR FAR away.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Crew
This reminds me of when Kristin and Tracy and our old high school crew used to go to McDonald's all the time in high school, it was the only thing to do in Sycamore...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Not to be totally outdone by scott...
If you read Mookiedaddy's blog today, you'll see he had a jam packed week of music. Saturday he went to the city to see My Bloody Valentine...But being the sickies we are, Bella and I stayed home. Then we decided that home wasn't good enough for us, so thru the coughing and muscle aches, we drove a whole 5 minutes from our house to the Sears Center, dumped the car off, and took advantage of being Hoffman Estates Residents and took a FREE tourbus shuttle to the opening of a local strip mall where one of my ex top 5's took the stage for FREE, Chris Isaak.
We were so glad we didn't stay bums at home. Not only did Bella have the time of her life sitting in the very front seat on our own personally chauffeured tour bus (seems like nobody took advantage of the free parking, we were pretty much the only ones on the plush bus (and we got there only 15 mins before showtime), but then we got nice lawn seats for the show (the place was packed, but we did get lucky! And so we wrapped up in the blanket and had a good time listening to Chris and his band play. Bella liked him, he was dressed in his RED touring suit. My favorite of his suits is his Mirrorball suit, but he wasn't wearing that one that night. Bella practiced dancing and jumping to songs like Somebody's Crying, Baby did a bad bad thing, etc.
Too bad we didn't get there a bit earlier as he came out into the audience and sang and hugged people. I think I would have crapped myself if Bella and I had moved up about 20 feet to the right.
Chris was his funny self telling stories and jokes to the audience, he is one of the only entertainers at concert venues who speaks so clearly you can actually understand every word. And he totally has our sense of perverted humor so it's like seeing a concert and a comedy all in one night. God how I've missed his concerts!!
We didn't stay for the whole thing, it got to be Bella's bedtime, so we headed back where we did get our very own fancy tourbus to take us to the car. Bella thought it was awesome to finally sit in a vehicle's front seat.
Now Bella has been saying "Chris Isaak"...so she is getting herself schooled in music big time. This marked her 8th concert (I believe, though it might be 9th).
We were so glad we didn't stay bums at home. Not only did Bella have the time of her life sitting in the very front seat on our own personally chauffeured tour bus (seems like nobody took advantage of the free parking, we were pretty much the only ones on the plush bus (and we got there only 15 mins before showtime), but then we got nice lawn seats for the show (the place was packed, but we did get lucky! And so we wrapped up in the blanket and had a good time listening to Chris and his band play. Bella liked him, he was dressed in his RED touring suit. My favorite of his suits is his Mirrorball suit, but he wasn't wearing that one that night. Bella practiced dancing and jumping to songs like Somebody's Crying, Baby did a bad bad thing, etc.
Too bad we didn't get there a bit earlier as he came out into the audience and sang and hugged people. I think I would have crapped myself if Bella and I had moved up about 20 feet to the right.
Chris was his funny self telling stories and jokes to the audience, he is one of the only entertainers at concert venues who speaks so clearly you can actually understand every word. And he totally has our sense of perverted humor so it's like seeing a concert and a comedy all in one night. God how I've missed his concerts!!
We didn't stay for the whole thing, it got to be Bella's bedtime, so we headed back where we did get our very own fancy tourbus to take us to the car. Bella thought it was awesome to finally sit in a vehicle's front seat.
Now Bella has been saying "Chris Isaak"...so she is getting herself schooled in music big time. This marked her 8th concert (I believe, though it might be 9th).
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
MCR
Can I just say I love My Chemical Romance??? Love them. Why could they not have been around when I was a teenager? Dammit. Seriously.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I will survive!
Ok, hopefully.
Today is the first day in the last six days that I went to work. Belly has been quite scarily (for me) sick for the last six days. Fevers, chills, you name it. It was scary that on more than one of the nights as I was holding her and rocking at 3 am, she was BURNING. I had pumped her with tylenol and motrin and still she was burning, I was contemplating going to the ER. But I decided not to...it was pretty stressfull. We did get to take her to the doc that sunday, and they confirmed that they thought that it was a virus. So we needed to take the wait and see approach. They said she didn't need the ER till she was at a temp of 105 at her age. YES! 105!!!! This is the most frustrating thing I think as a parent and for me personally, as I have no patience. I didn't want to wait and see, I wanted her better, NOW.
Sometimes I can't believe how overpowering my mommy power/instincts/ability to be freaking selfless is. I've come to believe that the last is the number one characteristic of being a mom, you are not you anymore, you are selfless. And I was the one who was scared shitless to be preggo, let alone actually BE a mom. I can't believe how much I have changed. Like right now, I feel sick, I have a sore throat, but I can't be sick. I am not allowed; I don't have time. I have to be fine to take care of my girl. Therefore I will be.
Fast forward a few more days, and today she is feverless, but has a pretty bad cold. The poor girl. This one was a bad one. I am grateful my coworkers are troopers and totally did my job when I was out; and lucky my boss is understanding and even emailed to see if I was really ok becuase she thought from my voicemail that I was surely dying. And lucky for my friends and family who sent me well wishes.
I even appreciate the double stuffed oreos and flowers my hubby got me as a token of appreciation; oh oreos, how I love thee, let me count the ways.
Today is the first day in the last six days that I went to work. Belly has been quite scarily (for me) sick for the last six days. Fevers, chills, you name it. It was scary that on more than one of the nights as I was holding her and rocking at 3 am, she was BURNING. I had pumped her with tylenol and motrin and still she was burning, I was contemplating going to the ER. But I decided not to...it was pretty stressfull. We did get to take her to the doc that sunday, and they confirmed that they thought that it was a virus. So we needed to take the wait and see approach. They said she didn't need the ER till she was at a temp of 105 at her age. YES! 105!!!! This is the most frustrating thing I think as a parent and for me personally, as I have no patience. I didn't want to wait and see, I wanted her better, NOW.
Sometimes I can't believe how overpowering my mommy power/instincts/ability to be freaking selfless is. I've come to believe that the last is the number one characteristic of being a mom, you are not you anymore, you are selfless. And I was the one who was scared shitless to be preggo, let alone actually BE a mom. I can't believe how much I have changed. Like right now, I feel sick, I have a sore throat, but I can't be sick. I am not allowed; I don't have time. I have to be fine to take care of my girl. Therefore I will be.
Fast forward a few more days, and today she is feverless, but has a pretty bad cold. The poor girl. This one was a bad one. I am grateful my coworkers are troopers and totally did my job when I was out; and lucky my boss is understanding and even emailed to see if I was really ok becuase she thought from my voicemail that I was surely dying. And lucky for my friends and family who sent me well wishes.
I even appreciate the double stuffed oreos and flowers my hubby got me as a token of appreciation; oh oreos, how I love thee, let me count the ways.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Coincidence? or crazyness?
So I got on facebook last week. And they have that friends search feature, and I realized that I do really have Alzheimers, becuase I could NOT remember several people's last freaking names. I was getting pissed.
Anyway, during one of my logons to the site I was trying to remember people who I'd wanted to find. And on Saturday, one name popped into my head and it would not leave for a few mins, but I didn't search for it, it didn't pop in there becuase I wanted to search for it, it was more like a I wonder how she is doing, man I haven't talked to her in a long long time...humm... kind of thing.
So the weekend passes, and I get here to work, open my email and there is an email from her in my inbox from late Friday night. She asked me to write something for her.
I wrote her back and told her about my thought of her this weekend. She thought it was definitely crazy and funny, but she's one that this wouldn't really suprise.
Guess it is just another weird thing that's happened in the life of me.
Also, I decided I better start recording these crazy things to measure frequency and also documenting my dreams--especially since they are so freaking vivid and detailed--sometimes they are like a miniseries.
I started typing last weeks' saga out, and after and hour and a half Scott was weirded out that I had been typing so long, I can't help if I can remember everything. I closed the laptop being only a quater of the way done writing out the dream sequence...I hope I don't forget the rest by the time I actaully get back to it. Darn memory!! please work for once!
Maybe after I die, bella can publish them and make some $$. :)
Anyway, during one of my logons to the site I was trying to remember people who I'd wanted to find. And on Saturday, one name popped into my head and it would not leave for a few mins, but I didn't search for it, it didn't pop in there becuase I wanted to search for it, it was more like a I wonder how she is doing, man I haven't talked to her in a long long time...humm... kind of thing.
So the weekend passes, and I get here to work, open my email and there is an email from her in my inbox from late Friday night. She asked me to write something for her.
I wrote her back and told her about my thought of her this weekend. She thought it was definitely crazy and funny, but she's one that this wouldn't really suprise.
Guess it is just another weird thing that's happened in the life of me.
Also, I decided I better start recording these crazy things to measure frequency and also documenting my dreams--especially since they are so freaking vivid and detailed--sometimes they are like a miniseries.
I started typing last weeks' saga out, and after and hour and a half Scott was weirded out that I had been typing so long, I can't help if I can remember everything. I closed the laptop being only a quater of the way done writing out the dream sequence...I hope I don't forget the rest by the time I actaully get back to it. Darn memory!! please work for once!
Maybe after I die, bella can publish them and make some $$. :)
Friday, September 5, 2008
The answer to the I'm a nutjob question
yeah, I think I know the answer now, it's the new perscription of 88 mcg of synthroid!! Pills! it has to be! YAY!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I am a nutjob
So for about two months I have been in a cloud. I guess people would say depressed. I am getting old. I don't know what the meaning of life is, and I don't know what I am supposed to be doing here. Or what I am supposed to be doing after this. I am not sure what the heck direction my life is going in. I really want to find out. But yuck, not a clue. So I had been wallowing in a cloud.
I don't know what exactly happened to me, but I feel today a shitload better. The fog is gone. And though I am NOT ok with aging, the fog is actually clearer!! How does this happen?? How can I just be one person one day and someone else the next?? WTF?
I don't know what exactly happened to me, but I feel today a shitload better. The fog is gone. And though I am NOT ok with aging, the fog is actually clearer!! How does this happen?? How can I just be one person one day and someone else the next?? WTF?
Friday, August 29, 2008
Hasimotos blows chunks 3
So I went to the Endo again, so her game plan is to try to shrink the nodules on my thryoid by upping my dosage of synthroid. So I am now on 88.
She asked if I already felt a buttchunkingload better from being on the 75, but I had to tell her no. Luckily, she is seriously the BEST doc I have ever had EVER, she went ahead and decided to try the high dose. This NEVER would have happened with the buttmunches I have had to see before. THANK grandma moses that I met this lady!
As an aside, she is so a type 2. I have never seen a doc's soul. And I totally did with this one, twice. I was not exagurating when I said in previous posts that I out loud told the chick I loved her like 3 times in that first meeting. I had pretty much came to the conclusion doctors must not have souls, or have conveniently turned them off, alot I find are just empty.
She asked if I already felt a buttchunkingload better from being on the 75, but I had to tell her no. Luckily, she is seriously the BEST doc I have ever had EVER, she went ahead and decided to try the high dose. This NEVER would have happened with the buttmunches I have had to see before. THANK grandma moses that I met this lady!
As an aside, she is so a type 2. I have never seen a doc's soul. And I totally did with this one, twice. I was not exagurating when I said in previous posts that I out loud told the chick I loved her like 3 times in that first meeting. I had pretty much came to the conclusion doctors must not have souls, or have conveniently turned them off, alot I find are just empty.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"You are so different than anybody else."
I think I have heard this about 100 times in my life from various people, maybe more. At first it shocked me and sometimes upset me, as I just wanted to fit in. But I have grown to like being reminded of this fact, maybe that is part of enlightenment: self acceptance.
Yesterday I was talking with a like-minded friend about the “meaning of life”, and what exactly my next assignment will be—since I am of the mindset that this life might just be preparation for the next, and it occurred to me that there are four types of people (for me). Type one, these are the people you meet or know, that you have experienced a special bond/connection/vibe with, that you have seen their true selves in their eyes and they have seen your true self and you both accept each other into your “family” and don’t mind saying so or admitting it, no fear, no shame. Type two, the people you meet or know that you have seen their true selves, and you have accepted each other, though they send a vibe that they are not ready to or never really will have any need or want to actually ever talk about it with you, it is just there in the glance, said and done. Type three, you have tried to look at them, looked in their soul and found really just an empty space; the lights are not on, and nobody’s home. Type 4, you have looked to see if they have anything, but what you see is a huge brick wall with a big “Fu.ck off” written on it; these are also known to me as “a.ssholes”.
Luckily for me, I have several people in the type one and two sections. And I love it/them. It pleasantly jolts me when that spark happens (though it should not surprise me as this has happened a lot more than once). (Now I am not talking about a spark of love or se.x/lust, I talking about an actual electric currant/prodding or awakening, someone saying, rather shouting sometimes, nonverbally, “HEY YOU! I SEE YOU! YOU SEE ME? Yeah, you do, I like you, you’re different, you’ve got something these other wackos don’t. Cool, I know we’re friends now, don't worry, I understand that.”
Just today, a coworker and I were talking about her development. And she said those words I love to hear “Michele, but you are so different than anybody else.”
SCORE!!!
I think my main difference is that: I want to be different, like to be different, and HAVE a need to be different. I don’t want to be in any category, I never want to be defined by anyone else. I want to make a lasting impression on the people I meet, especially those who talk to me nonverbally; I want to be helpful, I want to share of myself in order to better someone else.
I have always had the feeling that I do not fit in, and that I am totally different, and I have come to accept it after MANY years of fighting it and being depressed about it—and actually asking that higher power to send me people that were like me in the middle of the night, and I have actually come to like that I am different, or in layman’s terms: Clinically insane.
So what the hell am I supposed to do with my differentiators? My sensitivity gifts and my want to help and my thirst to know what the heck I am preparing myself for in the next life? Seriously, I am ASKING!
I asked Bella on the way home from work yesterday, because it came into my mind-- the sayings that wisdom comes from the mouth of babes; and how they say kids see so clearly. So I asked.
The freaking funny thing was her response. Usually when I ask her a question, she ether answers right away or says nothing, being too distracted to answer. For the first time, when I asked that question, here is what I got:
ME: Bella, do you know what the meaning of life is?
Bella: Hum…..Um….. Hummmmm….ummmmm…
30 seconds pass
Bella: Hummm, um, um, hummmm
30 more seconds, she’s still Umming and humming….and finally...
Bella: Mommy? I don’t know!
Me: You don't?
Bella: Nope!
Yeah, she actually contemplated it. THAT is MY girl!!!
Then that made me think, oh lord, she is going to be as different as me.
By the way, I was really not going to post this. As it is really something I feel IS borderline INSANE. But then I thought, well, I AM different. And those who ARE reading this, well, most of you are my type one or two, and YOU KNOW THIS ALL ALREADY!—at least somewhere deep down.
Yesterday I was talking with a like-minded friend about the “meaning of life”, and what exactly my next assignment will be—since I am of the mindset that this life might just be preparation for the next, and it occurred to me that there are four types of people (for me). Type one, these are the people you meet or know, that you have experienced a special bond/connection/vibe with, that you have seen their true selves in their eyes and they have seen your true self and you both accept each other into your “family” and don’t mind saying so or admitting it, no fear, no shame. Type two, the people you meet or know that you have seen their true selves, and you have accepted each other, though they send a vibe that they are not ready to or never really will have any need or want to actually ever talk about it with you, it is just there in the glance, said and done. Type three, you have tried to look at them, looked in their soul and found really just an empty space; the lights are not on, and nobody’s home. Type 4, you have looked to see if they have anything, but what you see is a huge brick wall with a big “Fu.ck off” written on it; these are also known to me as “a.ssholes”.
Luckily for me, I have several people in the type one and two sections. And I love it/them. It pleasantly jolts me when that spark happens (though it should not surprise me as this has happened a lot more than once). (Now I am not talking about a spark of love or se.x/lust, I talking about an actual electric currant/prodding or awakening, someone saying, rather shouting sometimes, nonverbally, “HEY YOU! I SEE YOU! YOU SEE ME? Yeah, you do, I like you, you’re different, you’ve got something these other wackos don’t. Cool, I know we’re friends now, don't worry, I understand that.”
Just today, a coworker and I were talking about her development. And she said those words I love to hear “Michele, but you are so different than anybody else.”
SCORE!!!
I think my main difference is that: I want to be different, like to be different, and HAVE a need to be different. I don’t want to be in any category, I never want to be defined by anyone else. I want to make a lasting impression on the people I meet, especially those who talk to me nonverbally; I want to be helpful, I want to share of myself in order to better someone else.
I have always had the feeling that I do not fit in, and that I am totally different, and I have come to accept it after MANY years of fighting it and being depressed about it—and actually asking that higher power to send me people that were like me in the middle of the night, and I have actually come to like that I am different, or in layman’s terms: Clinically insane.
So what the hell am I supposed to do with my differentiators? My sensitivity gifts and my want to help and my thirst to know what the heck I am preparing myself for in the next life? Seriously, I am ASKING!
I asked Bella on the way home from work yesterday, because it came into my mind-- the sayings that wisdom comes from the mouth of babes; and how they say kids see so clearly. So I asked.
The freaking funny thing was her response. Usually when I ask her a question, she ether answers right away or says nothing, being too distracted to answer. For the first time, when I asked that question, here is what I got:
ME: Bella, do you know what the meaning of life is?
Bella: Hum…..Um….. Hummmmm….ummmmm…
30 seconds pass
Bella: Hummm, um, um, hummmm
30 more seconds, she’s still Umming and humming….and finally...
Bella: Mommy? I don’t know!
Me: You don't?
Bella: Nope!
Yeah, she actually contemplated it. THAT is MY girl!!!
Then that made me think, oh lord, she is going to be as different as me.
By the way, I was really not going to post this. As it is really something I feel IS borderline INSANE. But then I thought, well, I AM different. And those who ARE reading this, well, most of you are my type one or two, and YOU KNOW THIS ALL ALREADY!—at least somewhere deep down.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Vacation nation
Here are some more pics of the big cross country trip. Here are some special moments for bella, as she met her ultimate sesame favorite Big Bird, then her second fav, Elmo, then her Ernie. Bella really liked spending time with her cousin Carolina too. They had a fun time hanging out.Bella was up for most every thing Carolina had in mind, except for being too short for the big rollercoster. But I think she kept up with her big cousin pretty well.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Vacation marathon
Howdy peeps. we are back from our week vacation. We DROVE. And while I found it a bunch better and not as bad as I thought it was going to be, Scott thought the drive way way too much. Bella was even pretty good about it, she only gave us grief at night, when it was getting too late. So she really handled the majority of the drive like a trooper. I was so proud of her.
When we started our attraction tour, we first went to Hershey Park, where bella is in front of the glass case of chocolate treats, then we progressed to Sesame Place, where bella met just about every character, Elmo, Big bird, Zoe (above), Bert and Ernie, everyone.
She also went swimming both outdoors and indoors at the hotel pool! Quelle miracle!
She also got to go too a small part of the Jersey shore with her aunts, uncle and cousins. Though we didn't go in, there was a huge population of JELLYFISH so we didn't want her to go and get herself stung. But she did meet a crab, and THE crab WHISPERER...this old man showed us this trick that he picked up a crab, folded it, then rubbed it's back and it fell asleep!! I am not kidding!! The crab in question is above!
Bella had a great time. She really did well, she didn't nap the best and those days at times were a little trying, but all in all she did really well for her first real big road trip. Way to go Bella! (She even pulled her own backpack suitcase)...what a big girl.
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