I will survive!

Ok, hopefully.

Today is the first day in the last six days that I went to work. Belly has been quite scarily (for me) sick for the last six days. Fevers, chills, you name it. It was scary that on more than one of the nights as I was holding her and rocking at 3 am, she was BURNING. I had pumped her with tylenol and motrin and still she was burning, I was contemplating going to the ER. But I decided not to...it was pretty stressfull. We did get to take her to the doc that sunday, and they confirmed that they thought that it was a virus. So we needed to take the wait and see approach. They said she didn't need the ER till she was at a temp of 105 at her age. YES! 105!!!! This is the most frustrating thing I think as a parent and for me personally, as I have no patience. I didn't want to wait and see, I wanted her better, NOW.

Sometimes I can't believe how overpowering my mommy power/instincts/ability to be freaking selfless is. I've come to believe that the last is the number one characteristic of being a mom, you are not you anymore, you are selfless. And I was the one who was scared shitless to be preggo, let alone actually BE a mom. I can't believe how much I have changed. Like right now, I feel sick, I have a sore throat, but I can't be sick. I am not allowed; I don't have time. I have to be fine to take care of my girl. Therefore I will be.

Fast forward a few more days, and today she is feverless, but has a pretty bad cold. The poor girl. This one was a bad one. I am grateful my coworkers are troopers and totally did my job when I was out; and lucky my boss is understanding and even emailed to see if I was really ok becuase she thought from my voicemail that I was surely dying. And lucky for my friends and family who sent me well wishes.

I even appreciate the double stuffed oreos and flowers my hubby got me as a token of appreciation; oh oreos, how I love thee, let me count the ways.